Thursday, January 27, 2005

Family

I always wanted a sister. I grew up with 3 brothers. It was miserable. They all loved to pick on me, scare me, tickle me and generally annoy me in any possible way. Now I realize that's how boys show love. Then, I just wanted to be left alone.

Through the years God has given me many sisters. Some are lifelong sisters and some were in my life for a season. Last night in the 6th grade girls class at our church where I teach, the girls were talking about their week, how it's going and what they're feeling in the aftermath of the accident. One of the girls was talking about how she didn't have an older sibling to talk to and sometimes it's really hard to talk to your parents, and your friends aren't there at your house when you're really letting down. So I said, "hey let me be your big sister". I told them that I'll always be here to talk to by phone or by instant message, which is the preferred form of communication these days in middle school. Of course, we all laughed. After all, I am 48. But as they left our classroom one of the girls turned around and said, "Candy, you are my sister." Now that was a gift of immeasurable proportions. It was an hour of holy ground in there last night. Bonds were made, feelings were poured out. Jesus sat among us. My heart is full. I love these girls so very much. They are my little sisters. And I fully expect to be inundated after school today by instant messages. I can't wait.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Thanking God

It's day 8. We made it through the first week after the tragic accident on our way home from Winterfest. All day yesterday I watched the clock. "What were we doing at this time last week?" The conversations ran along that vein all day. My husband and I were sponsors on the trip. He was driving one of the vehicles. I was a rider. One thing I'll always remember from that trip was how distinct our vehicles were from all the others. Multitudes of suburbans, vans, church vans, etc. in the parking lot of the Arlington Convention Center, but Highland's vans were special. Sara had written our names on the back windows with a glass marker. We always knew our group.

For the first part of the day the memories that came were all grand.

7:30 am: We watched sleepy kids straggle into the lobby of the hotel making their way to the muffins and cereal.
7:45 am: loading up cars that were literally rocking and making our way over to the last session of Winterfest.
8:00 am: An amazing time of worship and praise, taking communion in that holy place, the question posed - "Who is your Master and Commander?", the invitation to choose, so many kids making a stand (literally), hugging and loving our kids who made their choice that day.
10:30 am: Coralling kids into the restrooms and out to the parking lot.
11:05 am: The adults circling up for prayer while vehicles all around us rocked back and forth. So much joy in so many shining faces.
12:15 pm: Lunch in Weatherford. That Taco Bueno will never be the same. Luckily some wanted to eat at other fast food stops nearby. Watching the kids patiently wait for their food (really, I mean it!), and just be kids. It's true, a few chips were flying and some french fries from the McDonalds contingency, but overall they were amazing. We all gathered back together at Taco Bueno.
1:15 pm: We headed out to meet back home - Highland Church.

The drive for us with our 4 precious girls was so much fun as we listed to the CD's we'd purchased of Bean and Bailey and they ended up watching and napping to Shrek. All was well. Everyone else stopped at a convenience store after this and we drove on past them, in our own coccoon. Then the whole world changed.

2:57 pm: As we were arriving at Highland Geof got the call from Larry Folwell that there had been an accident and Julie had rolled her car. The shining faces darkened. A shadow came over us all. Geof had to tell Wes Bennett that Jon Westin was in that car. I had to tell Sara as she drove up that everything was not fine. Elizabeth was at my side and I was holding her. Tina Johnston. Linda Childers. Jennifer. And Mike and Diane. It's all a racing whirlwind of darkness. But the prayers had already begun to go up by this time. I know now even complete strangers on the highway were in prayer. I was removed from the fray when Mike called me upstairs to take Diane's place with our 6th grade girls who were planning a dinner for their parents. For the next 30 minutes I prayed with them, consoled them, talked to them and led them downstairs to call their parents to come pick them up. Waiting for their arrival. The drive to the hospital. The waiting room. The amazing number of people who came. The need to stay and know. The drive home. The hours of waiting to hear more. The church becoming the Body of Christ.

And in all this time flashes of Light. Young girls quietly singing songs of praise in the waiting room as they clung to each other. Offers of consolation and compassion and mercy. Grace in abundance. The heaviness became somewhat lighter. The darkness held shafts of light.

And now 8 days later - there is much to be thankful for. Nearly everyone is home except for Chris Cope and Amara Childers and Julie Folwell. They are all improving and hopefully will be back with us very soon. There is so much love. So much closeness. So much connection. Brody's funeral was a holy time, one our church will be sustained by for many years to come. The outpouring of love from his family and over his family was staggering and full of Light. Only God could do this. And He did. And I for one am Thanking Him.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Numb

We are numb here. Yesterday on the way home from an amazing experience at a youth conference one of our church vans rolled over killing one little boy and seriously injuring 5 others. My husband and I were sponsors on the trip. As we drove into the church parking lot we received a call with this news from the husband of the driver of the vehicle. He and 7 young boys were in the car following the one that rolled. They have memories that need healing. His wife is in Lubbock, TX in serious condition. Three boys are in Ft. Worth at Cook's Childrens Hospital and one 14 year old girl remains hospitalized here in Abilene. Our church is hurting. Our kids are hurting. We need your prayers. Julie Folwell, the family of Brody Bourland, Chris Cope, Jon Westin Bennett, Austin Lemmons, Amarra Childers, Beth Johnston, Chris Perkins. Thank you.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Trust Grace

A friend of mine asked me to write a short devotion for a book her church is putting together for the Lenten season. Is that cool or what? Their church is a Methodist church and I attend the Church of Christ. I love that they want to include thoughts from Christians and not only thoughts from Methodists. But then, this church and the people I know who attend there are some of the most exceptional people I know - loving and inclusive and Christlike. Here it is:

Each year a friend of mine challenges me to ask God for a word for the new year. This year I thought my word was Grace until January 1st when the word Trust seemed to be evident everywhere I looked, in everything I read or heard. So this year I am learning to Trust Grace. Knowing my year ahead there will be plenty of opportunities to put this into practice.

But what does trusting grace mean? Trust means to be confident in something, to firmly believe in the reliability of another person or thing. It also means "confident expectation". Grace means unmerited love and favor. Unmerited - unearned - a gift given out of pure love. Jesus is the gift. The life of a beloved, only son, given out of pure love for us, for you and for me. Are we confident in the reliability of the Giver of this gift? Do we firmly believe He loves us so purely He was willing to give the most precious gift He had to us who could never earn nor deserve such a gift? Do we confidently expect God to show us His mercy and clemency day after day as we live our lives as we often do - unaware of His gift or uncertain of its extreme intention? Can we expect to be changed into beings of grace thru this gift who in turn show His mercy and pure love to others?

Lord, help my unbelief, my distrust. Help me to confidently expect Your pure love and favor to be evident in my life as You transform my self into the image of Christ. May I trust Your grace and live accordingly among the world. Gracias!