Don't Fear Tomorrow

Gracie over at Wild Grace brought to mind a story I love to tell about a magnet. I don't think I've told it here so here goes.

A few years ago when I was first stepping into reality from the world I'd created for myself inside myself I realized one truth - you don't get to hold your stories captive if you're a child of God. God works in and through our lives and in exchange I believe He expects us to share what He's done - to tell His story.

Let me explain what I mean by that first line. I have not always been the person I am now. I guess none of us are - but for me, I am radically different than I was 6 years ago. I had that whole wall scenario perfected and it had worked very well for me all of my life. People that knew me had no idea who I was or what made me tick. I never spoke about my past. In fact, I rarely spoke past the general pleasantries of the day. Oh, I could banter or gossip with the best of them, but when they stepped over the line into "personal", I clammed right up.

So, like I was saying, I was beginning to step into reality through a 12 step program God had led me to and my whole world was being shaken. And in that shaking it was becoming clear to me that I would be telling these stories I had so carefully boxed up and stored away in a dark corner of my mind. I was not keen on this idea in any way. In fact, it made me panic at the mere thought of it. But God is so very good. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He loves us more, too. A lot more in my case.

One day my husband, Geoff, went to St. Louis on a business trip for a few days. While he was gone I was cruising the internet and came across a website that sold inspirational type stuff. I was looking through their stock and came across a picture of a refrigerator magnet. (Oh man, epiphany as I type!!! God really does know us more than we can ever imagine. As I typed "refrigerator magnet" it occurred to me that God could have used any form of media for this story - photo, song, poem, painting, even a t-shirt - but He chose a refrigerator magnet! I love refrigerator magnets!!! - tacky, I know.)


Anyway, back to the story. The magnet sported a mountain, trees and a big shiny star in the sky, which was all lovely. I love all those things. But it said "Don't fear tomorrow, God is already there." It was a simple message with profound gravity for me at that moment. I left the picture of the magnet from the website up on my computer screen all day. Everytime I walked by I would click on it and be reminded once again that God is way bigger than I gave Him credit for (I had no idea.) and it seemed He was reminding me of that truth. That night I shut down my computer and thanked God for that reminder throughout the day.

The next evening Geoff came home. As was my norm, I didn't mention the magnet at all or how it had helped me make it through the previous day. I thought he would think I was nutso. I sat there as he unpacked his suitcase and told me about his trip, expecting at any moment the inevitable airport or hotel gift shop t-shirt when he pulled out a little bag. He told me he'd gotten me something but that it was a little different this time. He told me about being in the hotel gift shop and finding these magnets that intrigued him and how one stood out and he just had to get it for me. By now, my heart was racing and I'm thinking "could it be??" and "if so, how could it be?" Well, you guessed it! He pulled out the exact same magnet - exactly - from a gift shop in a hotel in St. Louis. Come on, you know you're amazed. Just think about it, all the bazillions of junkie stuff stocked in gift shops across the world. This gift shop had my magnet and Geoff got it for me. So don't try to tell me there's no God. It won't work.

I tried that day to tell Geoff the significance of the magnet. He didn't really get it. Two years later, the first time I told any of my story to a group, I told about my magnet and Geoff sat in the front row with tears streaming down his face. That's when he got it.

All this to say that God knows you - He sees you right where you are today - even now. He cares greatly about what you're going through and what you need. Look around, He's in the small stuff. He's in the big stuff. And if He had a refrigerator, He'd have your picture on it - stuck up there with a refrigerator magnet. Trust me on this. I know.