Saturday, June 10, 2006
Empty
I've been feeling a little empty lately.(can you tell? I mean ladybug butts, geez.) Hmmm, can one feel a little empty? Or is that a contradiction? If you're a little empty, you're really not empty at all since empty means "containing nothing". So I guess I need to rephrase that - I'm not truly empty. I'm just running low on some of the stuff I've been filled up with before - so low I feel a void. The next step is to figure out what's missing and find some way to get it back. Without hesitation I can tell you that it's intimacy with the One who requires nothing but just that of me. How can I deny Him? Who am I to do so? Who am I anyway that He would want to be with me - sit with me - love me? I'm always telling people to remember who they are. I think it's time for a little identity work - not on who I am, necessarily - but who HE is. I believe I've been taking Him for granted. And I am levelled by that insight. When I looked up the definition of empty I found an interesting note at the end. "synonym see in addition VAIN". ouch. Therein lies the problem. Too much me - too little Him. I'm so humbled right now I can't even type His name in or our lame name for Him. Just step over me on your way out.
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11 comments:
Oh my beautiful amazing friend..I can tell you that this year, I have been completely poured out until I was not able to pray...remember that?..You told me you would cover that for me..I remember that day, somehow you made me feel like it was okay to feel that way..What I discovered, was that it seems that this emptyness that I have felt could only happen for me to experience the fullness He is bringing me. I'm not there yet and I am assuming it will be a forever process. So, I am telling you today that I am praying for this little path you are on and I know that part of Him sending them out two by two was so they could encourage, admonish and remind each other. I love you and truly He has touched me through the love you have shown me. I am praying..
This Jennifer Knapp song meant alot to me, not at first, at first I didn't like it..go download it..its beautiful!
"Lord, come with your fires, Burn my desires refine me. Lord, my will has deceived me please come and free me. Refine me. Refine me.
My heart can't see when I only look at me. My soul can hear."
'I am levelled'.... sounds like you are in the right place.
Look across the floor- I'm lying not far away!!
Well, I think you're something quite other than vain. But I can empathize with that empty feeling from time to time.
Here's letting you know I am hoping you feel filled with His Spirit. And since the Spirit is so clearly evident in you, it shant be long before you're feeling it too.
We love you, Candy. Even Clint does, the butthead.
I don't know you, but this post gave me a kin-ship with you. I am empty -- mainly empty of the One I love. Yes, yes -- too much me, too much busy-ness. Thank you for your transparency -- here's praying we are filled with Him soon!
I cannot find the words to write a comment worthfy of your post. I am awed by what you wrote, the feeling you share, the desrire and longing...the power of loving is sometimes knowing we can do better and at the same time knowing we do not need to be perfect.
And I share the same Ouch feeling.
Bev! Refiner's Fire! I love that song!
Wait....that's not Refiner's Fire....
but that's a song that meant a lot to me. I seem to have gotten them confused...
But, in that case, if you don't KNOW Refiner's Fire... then you should read the lyrics here.
Blondie..oh my goodness..I love yours more..beatiful lyrics..!
Bev - thanks friend.
Gracie - It's good to have company.
Lynette - yes, the basics - simple, yet complex.
Clint - cool, yes, cool and exciting and humbling and awful
Scott - You are my brother. It's quite possible I too am a frog.
Sarah - I'm finding out it's all about kinship. Glad you're here.
Corey - It's good to know you're not alone - even miles apart.
Blondie - I absolutely love the song. Thanks for the link.
It's been an interesting day. I'm in a place of rest, seriously fighting complacency. Desperate for something, someOne, but at peace. It's a fascinating place to find one's self. I crave awe and wonder.
Candy, I love you and understand exactly where you are. I have been there also...if we are all honest, we will all admit that we have been there. I know that you are a powerful prayer....keep those lines open. Call me if you need me. Hey, you know what I would love to do with you...gather around the table with the body and blood of Jesus. Are you free sometime Monday evening? I work til 7 but don't always get off on time...I will call you or you call me. I will check my cell phone during the day while I am working. I do love you, girl!!!
Wow.
This empty feeling...so relatable. And then knowing that 'empty' can symbolically mean 'vain', too? Eye-opener!!
Thanks for visiting my blog. I do hope you're moved to fly. Your haiku is awesome!!
When I clicked on your profile, I stopped in my tracks. I'm also a Cancer Monkey, just 12 years difference. :) Then reading about how you're feeling empty...and I've been feeling incomplete and scattered...is that strange or what?
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