A little insight into my world

I've spent most of the day once again readying my house for a party on Saturday. My old friend, Cindy, is coming home and bringing her new husband, Allen. I'm excited for Cindy. She deserves a break and I am praying Allen is part of it. I pray he's nice and kind and loves her with his whole heart. And I pray she is and does, too. I've missed Cindy for quite some time now but it feels like a new person is coming back, not the old Cindy. I'm nervous and this shows in my preparations for a family get together that reeks of wanting everything to be perfect. Families should be able to go to one another's homes perfect or not. I so badly wany my family of choice to know that I welcome them at any time - prepared or not - invited or not. The door is always wide open. I've lived so many years of my life in perfectionism that I think I have them trained to wait for an invitation. Now that is sad. I'm not a very good inviter either. Wide open. That's my new motto. Now to get the word out.