Thursday, September 09, 2004

I got it! It arrived yesterday in the mail. I hadn't checked the mail and Geof came in with it last night. He handed it to me and said "Your book is here." I took it gingerly and held it. It felt good. Has anyone else noticed how these new paperbacks feel so good? It's soft and inviting. I cannot wait to sit down today in the peace and quiet of my house sans testerone and enter through its front door. I'm talking about "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" by Sue Monk Kiddd. Even the name draws me in. Every word of it has meaning to me. The most precious memory of my father when I was young is of dancing on top of his feet as we whirled around the room to his opera music. I hated the music at the time but I reveled in the closeness of the dance. I am his only daughter out of four children and at that moment I was special. He didn't dance with the boys. Only me. The problem was, of course, this was "once in a lifetime". My dad was a distant father. When he was there he was distant and often he would disappear from our lives for months at a time. He was drawn to his home in New England. My mother refused to go, so he went alone and left us in Colorado. Wierd times that I'm sure aided in my attraction to the word "dissident". This is a word I relate to strongly. I grew up a people pleaser until I turned 17 and realized that some people cannot be pleased. My mother was one of them. It was at that time I decided to do everything in my power to distance myself from her, her views and opinions and actions in every possible way. You know, the old "I will never ______like my mother did." Of course, like most of us, I catch myself acting, thinking, seeing just like her now -- and mostly I hate it but sometimes now I just understand her better. Anyway, for many years I was a dissident daughter who longed for the dance. I think this book is going to open up a new door for me and my spirituality is going to take a growth spurt. I pray this is so. I need a new awakening to the feminine truths. Mine have been warped for so long . I love what Geof said about the book. He received the email confirmation of my order and asked me what it was about. I tried to tell him from what I had gathered from the descriptions I'd read and he very innocently asked, "Will I understand it?" I hope so. I hope I do. I think it will open up many fascinating conversations for the two of us and I'm looking forward to that more than anything else. So now I'm going to go get the laundry started, turn on some soft music - maybe some Andrea Bocelli (operaish) and knock on the door of "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter".

2 comments:

River Girl said...

Thanks for sharing some of your world...I can relate to what you've shared!
I've heard so much about this book..I haven't read it...but perhaps I should get a copy!
Peace to you!

jen lemen said...

you're in for a treat. it's a truly paradigm shifting book.