I used to hide. Hiding looked like DO-ing everything in my power to be invisible. This included NOT speaking if I could avoid it, which I did, at all costs. Then I was touched by God and came out of hiding and I was - wow - not hidden anymore.
When I came out of hiding I spoke, with my mouth, to lots of people. Once at a local university during their chapel to about 1200 college students. Once at a girls conference. Several times at my church in different settings, classes, Wednesday nights, Sunday thoughts, etc. It was a blast. I got to the point where I would say I never felt more alive than when I was in front of a crowd speaking.
Then those opportunities tapered off and lately I've been feeling like I was back in hiding because I spend so much time alone. (Alone being a very relative term, because I know I'm never really alone.) I've been spending time in my art studio. It's a blast. I really do enjoy it. Then today as I was washing the paint off my hands I had the thought..."I feel so alive!" It surprised me. I thought I only felt fully alive when I was speaking. So what was this?
That's when I heard it. The revelation.
It's not the what you are doing - it's the who you are being.
And I am humbled and astounded and overjoyed and, yes, more alive than ever.
2 comments:
You blogged! And you blogged amazingly!...when do you not? This is such a good thing to learn from, I need to think about it and apply it to my own life as well. Thank you for always teaching me, because you're always willing to learn. That's what I want to be: a life long learner! You're so great. I feel so alive when I'm with you!
Love you so!
Carlee
you blogged amazingly
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