What vs. Who

I've had a revelation.

I used to hide.  Hiding looked like DO-ing everything in my power to be invisible.  This included NOT speaking if I could avoid it, which I did, at all costs.  Then I was touched by God and came out of hiding and I was - wow - not hidden anymore.

When I came out of hiding I spoke, with my mouth, to lots of people.  Once at a local university during their chapel to about 1200 college students.  Once at a girls conference.  Several times at my church in different settings, classes, Wednesday nights, Sunday thoughts, etc.  It was a blast.  I got to the point where I would say I  never felt more alive than when I was in front of a crowd speaking.

Then those opportunities tapered off and lately I've been feeling like I was back in hiding because I spend so much time alone.  (Alone being a very relative term, because I know I'm never really alone.)  I've been spending time in my art studio.  It's a blast.  I really do enjoy it.  Then today as I was washing the paint off my hands I had the thought..."I feel so alive!"  It surprised me.  I thought I only felt fully alive when I was speaking.  So what was this?  

That's when I heard it.  The revelation.

It's not the what you are doing - it's the who you are being.

And I am humbled and astounded and overjoyed and, yes, more alive than ever.

The White Buffalo Christian Art Gallery

An amazing thing is happening in my life. Two of my paintings are being featured in the opening exhibit of the White Buffalo Art Gallery here in Abilene. The gallery opened last night. This was not just a grand opening-it was a huge fun incredible evening. The gallery was open, with live music on an outdoor stage, incredible food, as well as a sidewalk exhibit. I want to thank those of you who came out for helping make it such a great evening.

This is so crazy to me on so many levels. I first put a paintbrush to canvas last September so I've only been doing this since then. It's taken a lot of persuading on the part of both God and my mentors to convince me that I am indeed an artist. My whole life my twin brother Randy has been the artist in our family. And he is an artist and he's amazing. I was never encouraged in that direction by either of my parents I suppose because Randy so excelled in that area. In fact, I would go as far as saying I became invisible in any creative realm. I was the functioning person in our family. I was the one who cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped, did the laundry, kept the house going while my parents both worked. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't build up a resentment. That said, after years of inner healing work I've moved past that place of resentment into a place of creativity. And it's blowing me away! (Wow as I reread that I thought I'd written "palace of creativity" which I hadn't. But I like that! I've moved into a Palace of Creativity. That's where I live now!)

The way I go about creating these paintings is amazing to me. I don't touch the canvas until I have a clear vision from Holy Spirit as to what he wants to do. I really do feel like he chooses the colors, the form, the texture, etc. I've even watched the painting paint itself. It is beyond fascinating. It's a spiritual experience and I'm completely convinced that he's doing something in each painting. There's some part of his heart that he is revealing to me through the process. It's very humbling and precious.

So back to the gallery opening, when I walked up to the building and saw my name listed among the featured artists I was moved to tears. This is something I never dreamed I would ever see in my lifetime. I can't even say it's a dream come true because it's a dream I never dreamed. Not even 6 weeks ago. It's completely out of my realm of reasoning. It is so God. I believe I am right where he created and intended for me to be today. It feels really really good. Stop by The White Buffalo and share this miracle with me. They're open 10-6 Monday -Saturday. It's located at 2528 S. 7th, next door to the Natural Food Center. It's an incredible place you don't want to miss.

It is Finished!

The cross I've been working on, that is. Here it is:


(click on images to enlarge)

I had so much fun creating this depiction of Jesus washing the disciple's feet. Plus, as I mentioned before, I learned a lot. It was an interesting process for me. When Sarah first asked me to do a cross and listed the ones available I immediately chose this one. I had a picture in my head at once of what I wanted it to look like. The only thing that changed from the original image in my head is the faucet. That came during our preacher's sermon on Jesus washing the disciple's feet a couple of weeks ago. The song we sang right after the sermon was "Nothing But the Blood of Jesus". You know it. "What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus." As we sang I saw in my mind's eye a faucet coming out of the cross with blood flowing out of it and into the pitcher. Then the water ran from the pitcher crystal clear. The faucet I saw had a handle on it. So, I went to the hardware store and found a faucet. It was just what I had envisioned only it was very shiny silver and rather large. I put it back and kept looking. That's when I found the little spout I ended up using. As I walked to the car with my purchase I was having a conversation with God, telling Him I wasn't sure this was going to work since I had envisioned a faucet with a handle. I clearly heard in my mind, "You can't turn me off". Ok, Wow! Of course not! We can't turn God on or off and the blood flowing from the cross is constantly cleansing us. I love it. It's perfect. God is so good. He is Alive and well!! He is Risen - Indeed!