2013 is coming to a close. My word for this year was "write/right". When I first heard it, I heard "write". In my mind I saw "right". Isn't that interesting? As December descended upon us I began to ponder what that had meant for me throughout this year. I haven't written anything to speak of - just a few blog posts. I haven't journaled. In fact, not much went on in my life about writing at all. Instead I painted. (Which is a form of communication I suppose.)
I was having a conversation about all this with a friend when it hit me. This year has been about me NOT having to be "right" on so many levels. It's been somewhat humbling and certainly more than a little freeing. Isn't it just like God to turn it all around and make it something completely out of the box I had envisioned it in?
One day while I was doing laundry I had the thought "I don't want to put God in the box of my beliefs". I don't want to have to be right because, holy cow - what if I'm not? It could happen. ;o) I'll be the first to admit I don't know. I do know what I believe in my heart but I don't have to convince you I'm right. You get to have your very own relationship with God anyway you want - or not at all if that's your preference. God is big and good enough to reach your heart without my yammering. My truth is simply that - my truth - the revelations that I've been given. And really? My truth changes as more is given. Every day I grow. It may be something I read, or something I see, or something I experience alone or with a friend. This change has become my friend - no longer my enemy. I used to hate change of any kind - but not anymore! Now I embrace it. But it has to come to my heart. I believe we are created with a "knower" - that part of me deep inside that knows, yes, this is true. Trust me I come across a whole lot of stuff I know is not. And when I do, I kindly decline the offer to accept that thought and move on.
We've had some conversations with the high school kids we work with that have driven this home. I thought I was put in this group to lead them into some spiritual place of truth - my truth. I have come to realize that they carry their own amazing hearts and beliefs and they have done their share of leading me - because I let them. I opened my heart enough to listen. Those have been the best of times and the deepest discussions and I have grown.
So here I am writing about right. I love that. The word was not a wash. God is so fun. I was scheduled to teach our prayer class on January 5th but had to reschedule. I ended up doing it on December 15th which happened to be the last Sunday we met in 2013. I talked about Journaling with God. I think that is hilarious! I got to tell them about this revelation I've had about my word. I got to relive some old journal entries that blew my socks off all over again. It was amazing. I am so blessed.
So now I get to ask for a new word for 2014. I think I've already got it. I'll let you know.